A day that every woman dreamed about since their early childhood. A journey that every woman can’t wait to experience with her spouse to be. To become one flesh, one soul, two people spiritually bonded together that no man can pull apart.
The Beginning, Honeymoon Phase:
As I write this, please don’t see it as bashing or making anyone feel bad. It’s a method of me deeply opening up my heart to the public eye, because I know that there is someone that will be reading this and feeling the same exact way that I do.
Divorce to me is a very ugly nasty word that I rather not even have in my vocabulary because at one point in life it all began in marriage of two people who loved each other and stand together at the altar saying their vowels to one another right there before God. You stare into his eyes as he stare’s into yours and you both hold each others sweaty hands as the two of your hearts beat fast together. Afterwards, the honeymoon. Two souls become one, followed by deep passionate sex with multiple orgasms as two bodies pounce through the midnight hour being lost into each others love. Then when morning time hits, your hubby wakes up to surprise his wife with breakfast in bed, after that more love making. Months go by and then you become no longer in the honeymoon phase because 9 months later a baby is born. So adorable, so beautiful, a sweet moment that day as your husband kisses you on the lips smiling at you for being such a brave strong woman to give birth to his child that he fell in love with you all over again. Then bam! The sweet moment turns sour then you wonder wth is going on? Why is the honeymoon phase over?
In the beginning it was exactly like that in my marriage. It wasn’t nothing that my husband wouldn’t do for me. He made me feel special, wanted, and loved. He was my ultimate protector. If anyone say something smart to me or called me out of my name. He turn into beast mode where he would literally put on his stomp gear and actions and put on his base ball bat like he’s ready to go to war to fight for me. The attention he gave me was out of this world, everyday he sent me sweet text messages and love notes. Always called me saying good morning beautiful, to hopping online to set up date night for us as he took me to his little jazz spot and sat me down as he sang a love ballad to me. At night time we would sleep on Skype together, tt felt so good to turn over in my own bed and see him right there on the pc screen. It absolutely felt like he was right there. It made me think back of how we first met. It was love at first sight, the chemistry was so deep and so genuine. We both were going through a divorce at the same time. So it was a friendship that build. So as I write this now, I feel emotional, a deep agony as I remember when our marriage went sour. I saw warning signs by his actions. Like, in the first beginning of our marriage we was pouncing like rabbits. Literally having sex 3 times a day, then that 3 times a day went down to sex only twice a month. No good night kisses. Just a back turned away from me. I said to myself hmmm, maybe I’m not appealing to his eyes anymore. I tell you the truth, Back in the day my avatar was busted to the max. So I know that he was with me because of love, my look was horrible. I never took the time to go into the shop to upgrade. I believe I was too busy putting other people needs before mines. So I did upgrade my look a little bit afterwards but somehow it still didn’t seem like it was enough to satisfy my husband. At that point I felt like giving up mentally. because the marriage started off the right way. It was a must that we had pre marital prayer ceremony, it was his Idea. We also went to marriage counseling after the honeymoon to just make sure our marriage stay strong. That was his idea as well, but after our first 3 kids I felt like a lonely boring housewife with 3 toddlers. Scratching my head not knowing how to save our marriage……
To be continued……………………..